Wishlist

Lately she forgot to live simply because she thought she was still her and that should be enough…

Have you *adulted” so hard that you forget how to play? Everything just seems serious or potentially serious and when none of that is going on, you can’t just seem to get the zeal to take anything too seriously, routine is comfortable, joy is transient, in fact, it has gotten to the stage where you practice heartbreak before it even comes. You are wise enough to forsee it but not prevent it.

You no longer crave big things, you want a quiet life, drama free work colleagues, being able to pay your bills, love on the low, and sleep if you are lucky, the type of sleeping that involves staying in bed on a cold winter morning culled up with a book and hot chocolate but still making money.

There is this empty space in between all these acquisitions that you don’t quite know what to do with, the kind of life where everything is on fast lane but seems like slow motion because you wake up each day driven by the nudge of all the goals you are yet to attain. You find yourself swinging from one ambition to the next knowing that there is never going to be an end except death but still not knowing how and when to stop.

So in this space, you cram monotony and boredom, mindless scrolling, meaningless connection, the need for more but not knowing what more is, this is the space for addiction, more attachments for things you cannot let go. So you call the motion grind, hustle, drive, everything but what you truly feel, a yearning to meet your divinity. The self that transcends the outer plane of this body you inhabit and the motions you take trudgingly.

Let’s call this space the wishlist. The collection of things you desire but want as a gift. Sometimes it is carefully curated by the things you need, at times, it is driven by your wants but the truth about the wishlist is that it is a place that feels like fantasy and blessedness.

As we adult, let’s not forget to keep making the wish list. This is the void that forces us to dream again, to find our inner child, our make believe, to play hide and seek with reality, to feel the cataclysmic release of pent up frustrations from dreams not met, it is important to redefine dreams even while we chase dreams. We need to find ways to wait here while everything else aligns.

What is on your wishlist?

Xoxo

Dcconnoisseur.