Romance with Pain

This post has to start with this emoji😂 because I know how weird this title sounds. Further, how one of my friends will probably come to me to ask how my mind works but hear me out….

I think pain is a better teacher than pleasure, the lessons are deep and redefining and sometimes, Permanent. However, it is imperative to ask is it pain that leads to trauma or our interpretation and response to it?

Well, I am no psychologist so I am not going to postulate hypotheses. What I do know however and quoting from the first scene in house of cards “there are two kinds of pain, one that teaches something and the other just useless suffering….”

This definition is succinct but it provokes the question of whether pain comes with purpose or we channel purpose from pain.

Regardless of your polarization to this question, it is imperative to decipher that even though pain is a great teacher, there might be bad lessons and we could be recalcitrant pupils that fail to align with the curriculum. I am sure a lot of us can relate to this😏

Basically, I am saying there is still an existence of one’s will in pain. It is true that pain has the ability to form us but we largely determine the direction.

Why is it that some people go through the toughest seasons of their life and that doesn’t cause them to change in any way whatsoever other than dealing with the changes that an ordeal brings they somehow retain equanimity.

Whereas, some others become vengeful, resentful, and bitter. I think that needs to be studied for whatever truth it possesses but if I were to hazard a guess, it boils to acceptance.

So what is romance with pain? it is being accepting of the fact that pain is inevitable, that it could be useful or useless, that you have the will in the channeling, that you are empowered to interprete the lessons, and just because it doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be stronger if you do not choose strength, that you have got to choose your definition of strength whatever that means for you but if it turns you to a version of you you will come to resent in time, maybe it is time to do a reassessment.

So what’s the romance you ask? It is simple, imagine a tango partner, pain is the type that brings all the intensity in, it makes you frown, leaves you in shock, makes you rage, makes you want to burn everything down, makes you rebel, sometimes breaks you, exhausts you but leaving you with just enough sanity to know that you don’t want to do this again but if something along these lines come around again, you’ll be ready. Tell me how that is not romantic🤣.

If there’s any lingering message to this post, it is simple, romanticize your life. Nothing is ever going to come without the duality. Literally, ups and downs. You must learn to abound and abase. This has nothing to do with being unfortunate or even luck. It is just the cycle of life. We will all get our chance at sorrow and happiness, don’t rush.

See you later.😉

Xoxo,

Dcconnoisseur.