The Fortitude for Truth

I called my dad and as usual, we started discussing ongoing events in my life. He eventually asked about the guy I was seeing even when I was hoping he wouldn’t as I and the said guy just agreed to end things the previous day.

Since he asked, I had to fess up about the reason this guy chose to end things to which my dad asked me if there was any element of truth to his reasoning, I affirmed positively.

He then asked me what my reservations were and if I expressed the same to this guy without fear or malice? I said No, he asked if I liked him, and I said yes despite my reservations.

Then he said to me, say the truth. It doesn’t have to end up in a long-term commitment but at least you will leave a footprint of integrity.

That was a hard pill to swallow because saying the truth meant I had to tell this guy I liked him when all I was doing while dating him was convincing myself I shouldn’t like him because he seemed too stuck up. (I know what you are thinking, why did I bother dating him if I had this impression about him? well, because people are never just one thing, it was a matter of being able to cope or not)

More than that, it really was that I was afraid to be vulnerable, I wondered what was in it for me if I humbled myself in such a manner. I wondered if I wouldn’t be trampled upon and seen as weak. I did not want to give an inch for a person who may potentially hurt me even when I could not validate if that hurt was guaranteed. It was more about the preservation of my ego than anything else.

I am the same person who has read that there is a difference between protecting your heart and imprisoning it. The inverse is the saying that in not being afraid to lose our life, we gain it.

I constantly instigate myself to seek truth and live by the truth but do I always do this? No.

More often than not, I want to live by the truth but the truth requires more courage than I am willing to bear at that time and even when I am also uncomfortable because I know the lie is a mirage and will not push me to my desired destination yet, I refuse to walk in the truth.

At some other times, I simply have not realised the truth, which is why I am almost incapable of living it. This is why people who help us seek the truth matter.

In the journey of truth, mirrors are important they reflect the state of things, help us search imperfections or highlight perfections but even mirrors can be opaque. Hence, in the construct of truth, clarity is sacrosanct.

Clarity for truth, and clarity as to why there is an opposition for the discovery of truth or the stronghold against the establishment of that truth.

Sometimes, truth is a practice. A sort of manipulation in the right direction. When you behold yourself in a mirror, you get revelation but you have to first stand before the mirror. It is that standing that is the practice.

The constant desire to look. It doesn’t always have to come with the need to fix a wrong, or right a flaw, it can just be a knowledge that things are the same, or a motivation to enhance the current state.

Even if you think you have a zest for truth, it does not make the knowledge easy to bear but truth brings imprisoning freedom which is why there is a need for fortitude because to be truly free we must remain confined to the reality of the truth we sought and found but we can also choose to be shackled by lies.

In light, there is great darkness. This statement is paradoxical because light should abhor darkness. After all, it is the very nature of light to dispel darkness but it is because light absolves that makes it a container for darkness.

The fact that the truth is to our displeasure or that its integrity undermines our effort at goodness does not deduct from the efficacy of the truth. The truth owes no apology but to exist as it is. This again is why we need fortitude.

It is one thing to seek the truth, it is another to find it, yet another to accept the consequence and live by the admittance of that consequence.