Kind Hearts

He said, “Hush I do not care for your opinion.”

I, who my father raised to practice how to talk at midnight

I, who hear the voice of my father reminding me to speak

How did I get here?

Is it that I wanted appraisals that I could not validate in myself or is it not that I lost my way?

I am far from that girl my father raised to practice speaking

As I sat in the hotel room and cried, I remembered all the hurt that led me to this strange place

Alone amid love.

The love that I was searching for but forgot to find first in me because it is lost out there

I understood this backwards

How can I seek a love I cannot describe in my mind?

How can my mind recognize love it never befriended?

So now I am hard-hearted.

Too branded by the many disappointing love stories and I think it is all their fault

They didn’t love me

They didn’t see me

They do not know my worth

Let me prove it to them

Let me exist loudly before them, let me take up space maybe then they’d recognize my value

Yes, I remember now. These were the thoughts that brought me to this strange place

The agonizing mission of proving my identity to lost souls who do not even know the first thing about awareness.

Those ones who think they exist more brilliantly than others because they can be ruthless

What is beautiful about a tainted heart?

Why is the curse of strength solitude and anguish?

Caged as thorn-full exilarch

What is strong about a heart that cannot beat for love wholesomely?

A heart that cannot give and give freely? A heart that seeks its own gain

A heart corroded by the need to exalt its own wants and desires

A heart that does not seeks good.

This heart of mine you must seek love

The one you define.

You are not unloved, unwanted, and unimportant

Your light is so bright, obstructing objects form shadow

Do not be intimidated by the shadows, they follow your light

What you seek is already in you if only you are patient with yourself

There is nothing imperfect about your life, nothing is missing that you cannot build creator

Yes, that is you starlight. The very essence of you is magic

You spark like the dancing flame, colors of passion and warmth

Elixir.

Take a look around you and see differently the love that surrounds you already

The one you are so desperately trying to reach out to when only you are capable of giving

As I sat down in that hotel room and cried, Belgium it was called

As I received the calls of my sisters who joined to affirm what I already know

I am all the love I need.

I am my own angel, my white dwarf

There is no fading to the love that I have within.

There is nothing worthy about cruelty even to one’s self

How can you deny yourself of the love that only you can give?

Asake, Abeke, Arike, Ayanfe, Apinke, Amofe, Adunni, Akanke, Asape, Atanda, Aweda

Temi.