Coping

Some people are lucky, or maybe it is not luck, who knows what it is? Have you heard that some people do not have it in them to be addicted? I don’t know much about the science, and I am not sure science has figured it all out either, but apparently it is a genetic predisposition, which doesn’t necessarily mean that all members of an addict prone family will become addicts, so what makes the difference?

I have also heard it said that ‘two people are in an unhappy relationship, but only one cheats’. Well, with cheating, it could go both ways, but it is quite interesting that more often than not, it just takes one person to go outside the bounds. What is even more interesting is that some people seem to navigate the most painful reality of cheating with all the insecurity, betrayal, and anguish it comes with and still go on to have an even stronger bond, whereas others, if not the majority, just never bounce back, and for some, they never even recover. They may leave the relationship, but they’d never be able to trust the same again; they’d also walk around with a layer of self-doubt and insecurity that they may brandish as an invisible cloak around their hearts because they never want to be broken again.

There is the other side of this also for the person who cheated, how for some they can end up forgiving themselves thoroughly, accepting their humanity and flaws but go on to become epicenter of loyalty and commitment that makes you never even imagine that they were capable of such duplicity, whereas, some others will just go on to embrace the chameleon they have become, the only skin they’d be changing is partners.

It is also puzzling that some people will deal with the exact same kind of trauma, I say exact just to give it a sense of similitude although, we know that even in similarities there are elements of distinction, yet, the reaction will be so polar that you wonder how one can thrive and the other just seems to be dragging under the weight of the world. In fact, in some instances, some people even go through worse things and come out seemingly unscathed, go on to have a life of bliss and gratitude, while others just change permanently, defined by grief, shame, guilt, sorrow, loss, or hardship.

It is also scathing that some people have never considered suicide, even in the worst moments of their lives, and some can never even get through the best moments without the thought of an end being the most exciting thing to look forward to. The idea that some people will never reach rock bottom, and some others just seem to have a postcode at rockbottom ville.

How two people can be raised under similar circumstances- poverty, and one would turn to a life of hard work, contentment, empathy, and the other just choses crime and every other desperate means to never be poor again, even if it means to kill. How some people always have such a clear navigation of morality, principles, and values, and some never seem to mind erasing every trace of their conscience.

How some people have charm, beauty, intelligence, entrepreneurial skills, charisma, and everything to put them ahead in life, and some others just get the short end of the stick. Or the fact that some people, despite being in unfortunate circumstances, just somehow manage to have the exact enablement to change  everything that needs to change about their life, like diamonds in the rough, gold in a furnace type situation. Yet, some others have all the ‘right’ enabling environment and never seem capable of making anything go right. How some people have to fight for every inch of bliss they attain in life, while others just have it dropped on their laps without the need to even appreciate it, yet feeling the magic enough that they get by, and it protects them.

The fact that some people have the heart of an artist and can channel pain and some the heart of science for logic and explanation, where necessary, invention. How some people can do all the work just for another to reap all the benefits. Imagine a man losing his wife to realise he needed to become a better father and husband, only to later go ahead and become those things, but for another woman who did nothing to foster this change.

It makes you wonder what the difference is; is it faith? Is it genetic disposition or fate? Is it a lack of spine? Is it an innate inability, something that can be improved or trained, or something that is just missing and unaccounted for? Is there anyone to take accountability, or is it just one of the mysteries of life? Is it part of the balance for good and evil that exists in the world, or is it just so ordinary that it is all a test?

I wish I had the answers to these questions I have posed, but I don’t. This is contemplative; it could be a couple of things or just one thing, it depends on how you want to perceive it, but even then, you’d hit this realisation that some things in life don’t just make any sense. Not fortune, not misfortune. I think all we do in between this pendulum is cope.

xoxo,

Dcconoissuer.