‘…And God saw that it was good.’
The first time I had a different perspective on the efficacy of good was when I was asked the question, ‘Why is good not enough?’ I mean, there is enough to be said for goodness, but I never thought of goodness apart from the superlative sense. Good, better, best. I shall never rest until my good is better, until my better is best.
It is understandable considering that we live in a world where there is constant value for improvement and development. The nudge to constantly evolve, to demonstrate growth through visible, tangible improvements, however miniature. So it is quite puzzling, at least it was for me to accept that good is enough, that good is a high state, that good may in fact, be sublime.
I know what you are thinking: where is this author going with this? Is this a subtle call to mediocrity and stagnancy? Well, the idea I am trying to propagate is tied to how we perceive gratitude.
Suppose I am doing a recap of my year, as we want to do, and I pose to myself the question: what am I thankful for? Mind you, nothing new happened to me, I am still working the same job I don’t care for, still not as rich as I’d like, still struggling with relationships, still haven’t been able to buy the items on my wishlist and my cart never stops getting additions, still haven’t lost weight, still battling chronic pain, still not able to navigate my traumas without PTSD, still full of angst and despair from all the collected disappointments. For short, there is no tangible record of improvement in this experience I call life despite my ritualistic resolutions.
Life has, for lack of a better word, been unkind in the last 365 days. Forget the cliche attempt at gratitude that glorifies rejoicing in the little things, the remembrance that life is worth thanksgiving, maybe I even say to myself of what value is the life I do not want?
The question then is, how can I stay grateful when there is no proof of a tangibility that merits gratitude? So, this is where it gets cliche: there is always something to be thankful for. In this case that life is expected, in the monotony that you experience, in the non-excitement, the boredom, and the constant struggles you severely navigate. This is worth gratitude, especially in the sense that it could always be worse, even when it doesn’t matter what worse looks like if your reality is bad enough as is.
The point is that even though life hasn’t improved, some aspects of you are good. Good enough in the sense that they do not have to get better; they just need to stay the same. You know this more than anyone else, what that means. It could be your smile, your unwavering ability to maintain resilience, your consistency in the face of difficulties, your incredible patience, your willingness to try again, to dream big, and to keep dreaming. In essence, we don’t always need gratitude for mutable events; even supposed stagnancy is worth some gratitude.
This year, I am grateful for the ability to constantly define my worth, to chase internal validation as opposed to external, my refusal to participate in hate and the constant ability to maintain optimism in the face of adversity.
Dear reader, I know at this point in time you will be faced with the onslaught of achievement of people who met all their to-dos and faithfully carried out their resolutions, people who’d make you feel like you wasted your year, or just point blank spent it playing. All of these posts will make you feel a certain type of way. So this post is for you, an indirect way of reminding you that you can be grateful for stagnancy too, grateful for good without the anticipation of better, grateful for the parts of you that remain the same, the more things change.
Till we meet again, keep gratitude alive.
Xoxo,
Dcconoisseur.
Connoisseur of Memories 