SKIN IS SKIN

I am seated on a black office-like chair facing a white wall in my room. It is precisely 5:12pm. I was supposed to have dinner with friends but I canceled because, to be honest, today I woke up lonely and just wanted to bask in my aloneness. This is probably contradictory since when one is lonely it is best to seek company but in my case, I cure my loneliness by forcing myself to abide by my own company.

A moment to ask myself what I seek in others that is lacking in me. No, it is not a need to assert independence, it is just my way of finding sufficiency even with the most off-putting traits.

Do I have to do this? I guess not, it may even be unnecessary, but the thing is I am not trying to prove any point, this is just my processing mechanism. Trust me, I am asking myself why I am not writing this in a private diary as I type but I guess I am not.

As a writer, sometimes you let the words and the emotions take over…You start out with a theme but end up revealing a part of yourself in the written words or try hiding in plain sight with metaphoric text. I am changing a lot, my writing I mean, I am getting more vulnerable with my expression. Almost like wearing one’s heart on sleeves but with words.

So what do I want to write about, to be honest, I am not sure, I have had a jumble of ideas in my head that I have been trying to pen and they keep trying to ink into the other. I am clear about the theme but I am not sure I can say the story behind why I want to share this perspective at least not without voluntarily invading my own privacy…

I think a secret is only that if we do not echo it out loud and for the same reason, I never try to write anything personal in a text even privately because I think my mind is a better vault even when I get the urge to spill it on paper because of my writing knack, I resist with solemn grace.

So, skin is skin, what do I mean…

we are the same, black and white.

I am not sure I can perfectly infiltrate the nuances I intend to capture with this statement but I will try.

Ironically, we recognize grey areas in life but it really is black and white. There is no “or”. The division is in our perception.

The class, the elitism, the superiority, the aggregation or aggression.

Yes, we are different as all things in nature are but we are inherently the same.

We are nature or a part of it.

Skin on skin we merge. The sounds we make alike, the feelings and the pain all carried by expressions and organs, heart pumping blood.

I don’t know poetry but that is the art of life.

We can erase or create our differences.

Pale as a ghost, black as night

constellations in a dark sky or is it blue?

I have watched different shades of beauty painted on a canvas of merged bones. The hollow nothingness that ends up as dust. I have heard statements about superior humans with lighter skin and yet they poo and it stinks.

The blue eyes, the silky hair, plump lips made from excessive artificial pout or beautiful souls perched in nonchalant vanity. The complacency that comes with false belief in ephemerals. Fading youth.

No, this is not another protest about color and race. What will be the point? Senseless must dwell so wisdom can be celebrated.

Do you think skeletons are shaped differently or do we all have that gothic vintage look?

Oh, you do not like the grim, I would imagine so yet we spend mundane existence insistent on false segregation.

What bothers me is the need for inferiority and it is not even about the person trying to exert superiority but the mentality of the one who feels the need to be subject and why?

I guess today’s theme is self discovery: a dive in humanity. Welcome to my thesis, it is simple skin is skin. We bleed, we cry, we grief, we laugh, we love, we die. We change yet stay the same. Traipsing perspective, nonchalance, and mistakes. Yet, skin is skin. Bodysuit not soul.

Okay, bye.

Sighing,

Dcconnoisseur.