Judge not so that though mayest not be judged?
I have a person who constantly tells me “I don´t judge you” Ironically, at the instance when I am feeling exactly judged! Is it possible not to judge others? or essentially, what does this context of judgment refer to?
I think we all move through life with borrowed perception based on what we hear, what is deemed culturally aceptable or taboo, what is reinforced in our upbringing at home, in schools, and in our respective social settings. We even form opinions and values based on these viewpoints that we think we own. I doubt that there is any originality with morality, if anything, we are walking curations of value.
I grew up hearing different stories of what good girls acted like, what it meant to be a leader and a role model, how studying paves way for a stable future (LOL), and many other symphonies of the crash course to a good life. Mind you, I understand that everyone involved was just spreading the hack they thought worked to make the already difficult journey easier.
These stories haven’t ended, they have merely transformed into newer models of what it means to be a good woman, wife, mother, dependable work colleague who is a “team player”, the picture and definition of success as an adult, and all the other tales of being responsible.
So imagine my surprise when as a feminist I subconsciously judge women who dress in certain ways to be morally deficit, as though morality is attached to fashion sense. There are “well dressed” suicide bombers. Imagine my surprise when I react on cue to statements like “do you know, the guy was surprised when he discovered she was a prostitute” with “Ah, na wa o” even when I know that prostitution is a two way street. For the one offering the service and the one being serviced, I don’t think one is more honorable than the other, that is if honor is even in issue here.
Imagine my surprise when I found out that not all people who smoke do so because they want to ruin their lives as I have been told, instead they are sort of managing a ruin that is spining out of control by trying to forget. Imagine my shock to discover that sometimes, substance abuse is tied to loneliness and pain.
There are several ideologies I have moved on from, yet I find myself struggling with managing my expectations or perceptions.
It is how I just jump to conclusions based on a narrative I have been taught to recognised as pertaining to certain conclusions. Since, I act this way, I wonder how many more people are like me, how many times I have been miscategorised even in my favour, but wrongly.
Imagine when I notice myself talking as in a social script. You hear certain words long enough that you end up assimilating the template. It’s why it is easy to say you are fine to a “how are you?” prompt even when you are not fine.
Judgment is not something we can isolate ourselves from as humans and I think when we interprete judgment, we just assume it pertains to the negative aspects but we can as well be accurate judges when we have enough facts to define a picture but ironically, we rarely ever do.
In the end, I think we are all judging and being judged. Forget all these trends about we listen and we don’t judge 😂
Xoxo,
Dcconnoisseur ☺️
Connoisseur of Memories 