Ever found yourself oscillating bad decisions? or experiencing a dilemma about what you should be doing versus what you find yourself doing? For instance, the kind of people you should attract and be attracted to versus the ones you do, the places you should be found or not found, why you must pursue livelihood as opposed to passion, what progress should look like at a certain point in time versus your current milestones if any.
The intriguing part is being torn between what is expected of you and what will bring you the satisfaction you seek even when it does not make sense to any other person.
In more ways than one, this is definitely a perspective that unites most individuals. The guilt you feel about doing what you want to do as opposed to what you know you should or could be doing and the stress that permeates that dialogue.
A vast majority acknowledges that there is no one way to live life, but since we strive to live the best life possible with no manual for that, yet, consequences for our actions or inactions, the need to attain the closest possible to a perfect life becomes inevitable.
There are two distinct mastery we can obtain in life, mastery over pain or mastery over pleasure. The opposite idea is enslavement to either of these masters.
Pain as a regulator of every decision or the pursuit of pleasure, moderately or in excess, does not guarantee a successful arrival at the desired destination.
I was watching a reel where one of the moderators of the podcast mentioned that the fact that a thing is hard to get does not make it valuable nor the right thing to obtain and the fact that it was easy does not make it suspicious. This statement provokes wonder and the question, is there a hack for living?
One controversial instance of this is as relating with religion. Many individuals have found several practices that have brought them comfort, enlightenment, ease, and clarity with situations that it makes it hard for them to conceptualize that there is only one other acceptable way that they do not subscribe to or even practice. The unvoiced question I think would be if it is so bad, why is there any good in it?
I think this is where many of us hang, the world of absolutes and the rationale for the grey areas. We know that things are not always as they are, we know that there is a potential that we may not be seeing the full picture, but we cannot help wanting to just take the most probable part since time is not on our side to consider every nuance and it is this struggle that brings the disconnect I talk about.
The struggle between what should be and the present reality is so profound because it leaves us in a constant state of meander. Running but never catching up, a constant state of chasing for more than we can afford. The question is how do we negotiate a balance?
I think it is called Metanoia: the journey of changing your mind, heart, self, and way of life.
It starts with knowing why and asking the different accompanying questions. For example, why do you think success means this instead of that or this and that? Expanding from the need to experience a binary existence to spectrum one. This equates knowledge that you can be strong yet, weak in equal measures instead of weak or strong.
Even as one explores this idea, it is easy to see that certain things cannot exist in harmony for instance light with dark. In physics, this concept is pretty linear but with humans, not as much. There are good people who do bad things and vice versa, it makes one wonder if light and darkness can be a conceivable measure to depict humanity and incomprehensible immoral acts.
The second is the acceptance of the gap. The transition between where you are and what you want to be. As with a gap analysis this shows you the missing link but may not necessarily provide solutions on how to create the bridge; but this is about knowing why you are where you are or must remain where you are. It is about acceptance as opposed to fixing.
Lastly, getting rid of what will people think or say syndrome. This is definitely the hardest part because we like to mirror our environment in ways that are conforming. I read somewhere a slogan that says “anything can be cool if you can do it shamelessly.”
There are so many ways to keep pushing this idea but the closing conclusion for now is sometimes this gap is good and necessary.
Xoxo,
Dcconnoisseur.
Connoisseur of Memories 