The Body Remembers

This is a piece I have wanted to write for the longest time as it largely forms the basis of some of my conversations around building memories and reaching certain decisions.

I know you must have heard or read about how our body stores up trauma. I’d like to think it is our soul but since the soul is trapped in the body maybe, connected.

I remember being haunted by memories trapped in my subconscious but with my body guiding me to remembrance, subtly throwing hints about what I refused to acknowledge because I would rather just look away than confront the pain of the discomfort.

That is not all my body remembers, my body remembers pleasure too. The tender touch, the warm embrace, the silent presence of a person that smells like comfort, the taste of happiness, the pang of betrayal, the subtle build up before crashing, the trip of a new adventure, the feeling of shame, exhilaration, inability to breathe.

The touch of friendship, the random smile of a baby on the street, kindness from a stranger, feeling of weakness, strength, inability to laugh and some other days rolling with laughter, the fast pace of my heart during hide and seek, the bursting  taste of ice cream, listening to a jazz band, the crashing sound of waves on the sea shore, the chilling breeze that accompanies a beach walk.

The smell of earth as rain pelts from heaven, the sound of laughter of a loved one, the cacophony of voices I have heard and remember, inflections and intonations. I remember having a lecturer in law school whose voice I would imitate before class because it helped me remember the lessons.

I remember watching a friend dance to a song and now every time that song plays, my body imitates the dance steps I watched. I remember several words spoken to me that have echoed loudly in my consciousness over the years.

I think the reason we age is because the body remembers, we carry the experience in our bodies as we sorjourn through life. I remember thinking of the pain of grief and how that is stored up in our bodies with every loved one we lose, the memory of  loud wailing as our soul tries to escape the anguish and the mind struggles to shut down.

The feeling of your body when you force it to go to a place you do not like, the heart pumping thrill of finally escaping the prison you call work, the feeling of your obsession, the mind numbing distraction you substitute for pain, the high you get from devotion. 

If anything, teach your body to embrace ecstasy and despair, collect these memories in the vault that is your heart but you must set them free again. Let the hallways of your soul echo with love but you must also learn to let go so you may float through the heaviness.

After all is said and done, never forget that you are alone in this body.

Xoxo

Dcconnoisseur.