WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE

Let me start by saying: love does not have a twin! If it doesn’t look like love, it is not love. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I can speak easy😂.

First of, Introduction: I am not a preacher of love, I am an…. ok let me be serious.

There is no singular definition of love. Love is ethereal, love like I am fond of describing is a splash of vibrant colors, of different flavours.

So unique that different people produce different love vibrations and that accounts for the various perceptions of love that exist.

If you have read Harlequins like I have; then, you must know something about steamy romance (I see you)😶. You and I know that some ideas of love presented is often distorted and unrealistic especially considering various socio-cultural orientations.

I know by now you are expecting me to actually describe what love is and I assure you, I can do that. It is in the generic aphorisms: love is kind, love is not boastful or proud, does not rejoice over evil, love is patient…

In real life, how many of us actually interprets love from this viewpoint?

It actually often starts with how we feel about someone or how they make us feel. Then sometimes it progresses to friendship, then erotic love… then we find ourselves saying “I do”. Of course you know this is just my linear definition. There are several other variations that I am not competent to comment on so…moving on.

Our representation of love is not always our original idea. More often than not, it is a by-product of what we have internalized by reason of our nuturing, conditioning and sometimes awareness… in essence, we all function from a diluted blend of what love should constitute.

Should love come with a curriculum? A social security number, or a fat bank account? is it based on color or tribe? does language barrier affect its efficacy? is love caused by cupid?

Does a successful love story mean marriage? Are all divorces caused by love-lost? How come love wanes and why does it get rekindled?

Why do people claim to love and yet refuse to be committed and faithful to the relationship?

There isn’t much to say because there is no one size-fit-all answer. All I can say is: LOVE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

To me, love is peace…being with a person and feeling like you’ve come home. Even if, you are in disagreement, arguing and all… you’d rather be with that person than with anyone else.

Love is living everyday feeling at peace and in love with yourself so much that you want to share that with someone else. Love is understanding what it is like to put a smile on another face, to be a part of something bigger than you.

Love is honesty and truthfulness with ourselves and our partner(s), love is forgiveness for all the disappointments and hurt that is associated with humans not being above mistakes.

Love is acceptance that we cannot box people and make them what we expect them to be but rather accepting them as they are and loving them in spite of their flaws.

Love sometimes is foolish. It is rather conceding a point than proving it, it is a deliberate and consistent effort to be our best self and give our utmost to those we cherish.