SELF DEPRECIATION

Hey, it’s me again guys. Of course, you know me on this lane. Don’t pretend you don’t🙄. Remember the last time I waved at self sabotage and had a party with self pity?

Well, yeah, it wasn’t my best moment but er… it happened and here we are today on another episode on self depreciation.

Why is it so easy to get lost in our own heads, telling ourselves all the reason we are awful, can’t achieve certain things out of life or even convince ourselves that we don’t deserve certain things?

Half the time; if not most, the fear is all in our heads. The things we can tangibly feel despondent over are most times not even our faults! Take for example; our physiology, color, shape, gender, IQ, beauty, or gene.

Let me honest, I used to feel embarrassed about not having a 20/20 acuity especially coming from a bloodline where blindness may or may not be a thing…

I have carried shame for that and in some instances inflicted suffering on myself. Feeling sorry and pitiful, asking questions like why me? Why do bad things happen to good people? Blah blah…

Well, it doesn’t end there, I have couple of other things to say about my less than perfect DNA and to be honest, I’d rather not talk about it.

The truth is we are all differently enabled and definitely live with disabilities. It may not be visible but it is there. It took me a while, and some sharing of sob stories with best buddies to realize this… but, I am here now…

There’s another aspect to self depreciation that we author ourselves and that is letting past experiences of others or even ours shape our expectations and reactions of reality.

Yes, you were cheated on but that doesn’t make you unworthy of love. Ok, maybe you were the cheat, but if you want to be a better person, then, go be a better person.

Sometimes, we won’t let ourselves be great. Our voice of criticism far outweighs our sense of self appreciation, love and commitment.

I have in times past cancelled out on many experiences just because I was mindfully rating my life from the view point of what happened to others.

Consequently, I carried so much hurt, bitterness, rage and disappointment, for so long that it became eventually hard to see any good in creating loving and nurturing relationships.

The thing about depreciating thoughts is, they start small. It may even be something as insignificant as dislike for one’s eye lid, the color of one’s lips, or even a crooked tooth. If this dissatisfaction is nursed to bloom, before long, it perches on the big things like self worth and self believe.

Will you have sob days? Yeah you will. Will they be constant for a period? Probably. Will it last forever? Doubtfully.

The important question is when you actually have something to be sorry about, how do you go on being sorry about the situation without feeling sorry for yourself?

I think these are two diametrically opposite things but are often intertwined.

You are not your situation, your situation happens to be an event happening to you which may pass or not pass, but it is terrible to gravitate one’s self worth or identity to a passing phenomenon.

For a while I doubted myself constantly that in recent times, I found myself not being able to do things I am actually good at.

Look, don’t laugh when someone throws a depreciating comment at you or when you do it to yourself. Renounce it so fast. There is no humility in putting yourself down just because you have one weakness.

I think negative consciousness programs a lot faster than a positive mindset. Do what you have to do to ensure you have a rein on your thoughts. It is not going to be easy but it is definitely worth a try.

When next that depreciating thought comes, don’t let it appreciate. Till we meet again, stay jiggy😉