NUPTIAL BLISS?

I watch from afar. I am the stranger behind the screen watching their love story on the gram.

They look so happy. #Godwhen. Then I see other stories, the rants, the lies, and betrayal.

I don’t even get a moment to process the happiness I just scrolled past. The very next post is about a crumbling home holding dark secrets that have finally escaped to daylight in anonymity.

Why do people marry?

Is it to avoid loneliness? Or because it is expected? For kids or companionship? To have someone in old age? For love? For status?

Just why?

As someone who has been propositioned by a lot of married men, who have sat bemused at the audacity, the encouragement to join them in pissing on their marriage…

I can say that the experience on the whole has made me look at this marriage business skeptically. What are people really doing in it? Why is it so hard to find fidelity and happiness?I think psychologists are still researching this.

Why is the men will be men narrative so prevalent? Why do people marry, then cheat? Why are humans so fickle and compromising?

Of course, if you can’t tell from my writing, I have never been married. I cannot possibly understand what goes on behind closed doors year in, year out in the homes of the Mr and Mrs.

I don’t have to. Almost daily, I come across identical stories that end up repeating thematic expressions like “don’t expect him to be faithful, when it is your turn you’d understand. A woman’s job is to uphold the home, you have to look away, men never really grow, women are so much stronger; on and on it goes”…

The picture that haunts me the most is the smile at the wedding, the love shinning in the eyes of the newly promising beloved.

where did all the love go?

I have asked this before and I ask yet again, what is the hallmark of a successful relationship? Is it till death do us part regardless of the in betweens?Someone said it was one you’d want to repeat again regardless of how things turn out.

I have questions though, is monogamy sustainable? Why are human relationships so complicated?

What keeps some people on the straight and narrow? Why do some couple never fall out of love and some never manage to stay in love?

Sadly, I have no answers; just sustainable hope. The need to rethink my perception.

Maybe people marry just because. Maybe they already understand that there is no perfection. Maybe it is to accomplish a common goal, or they are ready to love fiercely and stubbornly, maybe they know how to be determinedly selfless, or figure that hurting is worth it because they have found one person they won’t mind being in pain for…

Whatever the reason, It is brave; so brave to walk willingly into an unknown situation where all the variables can constantly change, to give up absolute control just to share with another. To want to stay through thick and thin, for pain and pleasure even when one doesn’t know which end of the stick will be served more often.

As the observer, I cannot judge. It really is no one’s place to judge. Marriages don’t work because the parties are decent people or godly, neither does it disintegrate because they are decadent human beings.

Well, it depends on what you fashion a successful marriage. More often than not, if not almost always, a marriage works because both parties still want it to. As long as that keeps happening, the marriage will stand.

Loving someone is to accept them, flaws and perfection. Nothing test acceptance than marriage. Obviously, your partner will change, sometimes you may even have instigated the changes but the question is will you stay even when you don’t like the changes, even when it is not favourable?

You see, that’s the tricky part. This is where everything becomes fuzzy again. We are only human we cannot say for sure.

To happy homes.🥂

Yours most hopeful,

Dconnoissuer.