I know….🙄
When you read wellness books like Think like a Monk by Jay shetty, one is advised to stay away from negative emotions like being a complainer.
I don’t know if what I am about to write falls under this category. If it does…in my defense, I am a work in progress.
Back to the real reason we are here.
You know how people do or say hurtful things to you and then say progressive stuff like: “it is not that deep”, “don’t take it that way”, “let’s leave it in the past”.
You say what?
I had a friend do something very below the belt to me and then go on to say “it is not that deep” or another that said something along the lines of “friends are always supposed to work things out”.
Excuse you…
You did what you did without my permission not taking my feelings into consideration.
So, please don’t try to take my “petty” feelings away from me. Let me decide how I want to feel about the offensive thing you did to me.
Funny thing is, most times people can’t take what they can dish.
Yet, in some moral meter in their heads they expect you to be the bigger person because you are religious or wellness oriented.
Nah, that won’t fly.
You are my friend, I love you and all, but I own the right to call you out on your shady deal.
Ok, in all honesty, I have been guilty of this too.
I said something insensitive to a friend unwittingly.
Some years later, we were finally able to talk about why the friendship was impasse.
She said her part, then I tried to explain why I did what I did and then say I did not expect her to have taken the way she took it.
That was when the conversation went south.
My god, she went ballistic.
She was blunt enough to tell me that I was being impossible. Expecting her to imagine I had the best intentions when clearly, my actions proved contrary.
I learnt the hard way.
I am still sorry, but I learnt something valuable that day.
Somethings don’t lie in our mouths to say especially when we are in the wrong.
If we feel truly sorry, then we should be brave enough to face the consequences of our actions in all fairness. Irrespective of what that means. It could mean loosing a relationship, marriage, job, position.
I am not saying we shouldn’t expect forgiveness, a clean slate, and grace. We can expect it but it is not our place to demand it.
No matter what side of the table you are on. Either the offender or the forgiver, let everyone walk their walk and be humble enough to admit when you’ve overstepped and leave it there.
Yes, that takes bravery but trust me, nothing less is expected.
Connoisseur of Memories 