Understanding your trueness, is an important journey to undertake. And, it is not about trying to be “woke”, or being popular among sage people. It is more about focusing on your uniqueness, by channeling it to live a quality life. It is about harnessing your comparative advantage as you navigate the world’s disadvantages.
It is following it up, despite unpopularity and misunderstanding, as no one is in a better position to determine the trajectory of your life than you are. So, it is about honesty to your core. Living your truth, in such a manner that it becomes the new norm, at least for you.
As you grow through each decision and experience, you learn to filter and adapt your principles, to better suit each situation. This alteration doesn’t licence you abandon your core i.e., your central beliefs and ideologies.
When we are faced with being advised by people that care about us, we should remember that everyone just tries. Nobody knows it all. At best, some just have more hands on experience in dealing with certain kind of situation. Mostly, people who seem to have it all figured out, may just be putting up a smokescreen.
We are all living. Trying to thrive is all we strive for. I like what Maya Angelou has to say about life. She says; “life loves the liver of it”.
Part of staying true to one’s self is taking decisions that are bespoke of your core values and strength and not based on competition, envy or wannabe behaviour.
It is about maintaining originality in such a way, that one stands out from the banal living, into the realms of purposeful and intentional living. This isn’t something that can be achieved in a day, it is a constant journeying into ingenuity.
The benefit of staying true to one’s self is the comfort that comes with it. Since, you are not in competition with any person but yourself, it is easier to be focused on your goals and aspirations, as opposed to what every other person is doing.
The truth is, as you concentrate on living your life truly, you get so good at minding your business and actually making things work for you. It is some sort of irretrievable honesty to one’s self.
It should apply to every aspect of life. Especially, romantic attachment. Don’t choose a partner based on what others expect that you may be but on what you actually are.
As in, if you know that money is your true motivation, when choosing a partner, biko, don’t pretend to be less superficial by choosing love especially, when you know you will not be happy with that choice. I learnt this from an acquaintance years back when she confessed at a girls’ night out that she wasn’t going to marry for love but for riches.
Today, I can say she is happily married for whatever reason she chose, bottom line is, I cannot begrudge her happiness. She deserves it for being honest about her emotional needs.
A lot of people fall into the trap of appearance. Trying to be seen as moralistic and forthright, because that is what is expected. I am not a preacher of less virtuous living but, I also do not advocate living life under false pretenses.
It also applies to finding passion and discovering purpose. When you start out on that journey, many people will feel opinionated about what you are not doing rightly, but that’s besides the point. The point is, even after your soul search journey, you find out that you have no soul, but you told everyone that you were going in search of your soul. Of course, we all know that mockery is awaiting you for that.
However, you should raise your head up high when you walk back down that hill of no discovery, because even though you found nothing, you tried to be sure about your options. The fact that you want to find yourself doesn’t guarantee that it would be successful. It isn’t even about that. It is about quelling dissatisfaction. As long as you achieve that, you are successful.
Your most liberated self, is your truest self. Nothing rings truer than the statement: Be yourself! It is not an advice, it is a command of freedom.
Connoisseur of Memories 